Dr. Moyers wore socks patterned with crimson Christmas ornaments when he murdered his first patient. His work in Cleveland Holy Witness of Cleveland, New Mexico, was lauded by his peers and the board of directors, who tolerated his incessant proselytizing because of his keen skill with a scalpel. When they heard complaints of yet another unethical command to “accept Our One True Lord and Savior Jesus Christ into your heart and be Saved For Eternity”, they would grumble, and shake their heads, and review the numerous accolades on Dr. Moyers’s resume: in medical school, residency, and as attending physician in the grim and distant Fairbanks General of Fairbanks, Alaska. They recalled the compliments that various colleagues and patients had paid him, and they convinced themselves that the issue was harmless. At one point Dr. Moyers was interviewed by two medical researchers from Penn State. He ended his discussion of teardrop fractures of the lower cervical vertebrae by quoting extensively from Joshua, Judges, and Revelations about the importance of devoting oneself to the teachings of the Son of Man before the world’s inevitable and—if one was to be perfectly honest—impending demise. Dr. Moyers cited a litany of apocalyptic evidence, including the existence of Kim Kardashian and ShamWows, eagerly trying to convince the two medically-licensed researchers to repent while there was still time.
